The Sands of Z'ha'dum
by Simon Erif
Summary: AU story... and a weird one. A lonely planet faraway from everything... a cast away thinking about life and love in his lonely existence... (Z'ha'dum was not destroyed. and a suprice in the end ^^;;)


THE SANDS OF Z'HA'DUM

By: © Simon Erif

It's all gone now. Everything. The dreams, the love… hope... wish's… Everything. I watch the rough landscape and think of the times long ago. The time when I still had a life, a future and friends, the time so long ago.

I watch as the wind blows the sand across the rocks and mountains. This planet… It is as lonely as I am. So avoid of life. It is a loner just like me, so far away from everything. I live here… no I don't live I exist. I exist here eating what little edible things I can find but I don't live… No… I do not live anymore. I just barely keep my body alive.

It is so peaceful here, so quiet, and so lonely. But I can't be among the races any longer. Not after all I've done to so many people I care about. There is just too much pain between me and everyone else. They say to live is to love is to live. That is true but I love and I live… but I live a lonely life because of that love.

And like this planet I am a cast away. No one comes here not even after all these years and maybe not even after I die. No one will know I was ever here. But that doesn't bother me. Who would want to know me or why I was here anyway? There is nothing to know. I was the bad guy after all and would anyone believe me if I'd tell them that I was controlled by the Shadows? No, I don't think they would.

My life was a game to them. I was just a mare puppet for their use. I had no will of my own. My own mind was just a whisper in my head while they pulled the strings and made me do all the things I did. So would anyone believe me and not shoot me at first sight? No. They would shoot me and sometimes like right now it seem like the best way things could go. At least I would be free and they wouldn't have to think about me any longer.

But then again… would it change anything? Probably not… The Shadows are gone and I was left to survive on my own. And that is what I've been doing for the past 10 years. It's been 10 years since the Shadows left. 10 years since I was left here on this god-forsaken planet. 10 years since I've seen another human or alien. 10, oh so very long years.

I listen to the wind as it blows over the hills. Whispering its sorrow of time lost and time long gone. I watch as the sun slowly makes it's way towards the horizon. I know today is the day when John says his farewells to everyone. Today will be his last day here among the living. I cannot say goodbye to him. Not that he would appreciate it anyway.

The sunset's just like it has set every day for the past 10 years. I watch the stars above me and see a single shining spot moving slowly across the dark night sky. I know it's him. How ironic I think. To chose this place out of them all, to come here to die. I can see Lorien moving near the little spark of light that is John's ship. This will be the end for him… or maybe it's just the beginning. Who knows?

I silently watch as the light dims and fades away. Slowly I wave my hand even though I know he won't see it. I say my silent goodbyes to the man I fell in love with but could never tell about my feelings. After all I fell for the enemy like the damsel in those old romance novels. I let the tears fall at last. Not for myself but for the world. I cry for love, hate, war, and a little for my own lost innocence. Those are after all the things worth living for.

I watch the skies long after the last trail of light that is... was Lorien have vanished. And send with him my prayer for the world and it's people. That maybe… maybe someday we know more and understand all that we should. That maybe we could find the peace we so desperately long for.

I silently make my way to the small shelter I have built for myself. I'm so tiered. After all it's not easy to be me… Morden…

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THE END

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So I made a B5 story.. and a very weird one… -.-;; but weird is my middle name… heh heh heh…. ^^;;

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